No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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