When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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