I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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