His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
