There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
