This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
