I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
