It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
