it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
