i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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