We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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