So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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