p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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