He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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