Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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