HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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