You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
