so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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