the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
