so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
