the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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