3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
