You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
