Buhtt sex?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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