i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My feet surprised me
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