So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize