I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
