is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
