I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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