Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
