finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
