I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Less talking, more tequila
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
