I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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