I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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