im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
