my vag is so smooth its legendary
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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