We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
