More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
