Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
