.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
