im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
