@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
