we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
