She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
