What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he shaved USA in his pubs
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
