Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
this will be a night to untag.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
