escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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