sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
