we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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