how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
