I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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