Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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