Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
