I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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